Uwe Janßen
Oh, that'll be fine. Very good. Madness! An extremely important sailing magazine recently announced that 2100 new boxes will be built on the Baltic Sea in the near future. And the best part about it is the message behind the message. Connect a ship easily and safely? Pah! The times are over. Modern lying down has as much in common with it as e-mails with smoke signals.
We have been waiting longingly for it. It was long overdue to finally thunder up our mundane moorings in the way that was practiced with the transformation of pitiable, low-stimulus creatures into "bosom widow" or "Baywatch mermaid". Enough, that teaches us, is never enough. A lifting is absolutely necessary here, an artificial application there, and as much of everything as possible.
Yes, the future is pink. They tune and deluxe as best they can. Bet that Mr. Gottschalk will be fooling around live on board using the digital cable connection on the pier in Laboe, razor-sharp on the new flat screen in the salon? Incidentally, it mutates through W and other LANs (e.g. in Heiligenhafen) into an office and stock exchange, which we have always sorely missed on vacation, especially on these terribly lonely islands. In Warnemünde, water taxis will in future receive our power when "going ashore", which we very much welcome because our energy can be used far more sensibly when golfing on the courses built near the port, such as in Hohen Wieschendorf.
Unfortunately, the matter has not yet been thought through. It is only logical that we demand that gloved assistants lay our lines on designer cleats upon arrival. We want sensors at the piers as electronic parking aids. We require fender strips on the jetty, pneumatically controlled, with constant pressure. And airbags on the poles, which trigger if we are pressed harder against them. And then, after entering our food order on the "touchscreen" on the fingertip, we want to be rocked in a litter to that chic in-cocktail bar, which until recently was a perfectly normal harbor bar that we stupidly had to walk to.
Needless to say, the overall package also includes a necessary linguistic adaptation. "Liegeplatz" sounds as contemporary as "side dish". No, the word has had its day in our brave new world. How about "Mooring Spot" instead? Or is Extreme Pleasure Anchorage better?